Stressed Out

Not for years have I felt as low as I have this past month. Completely disillusioned with work and outside of work, IVF and my body’s inability to become pregnant. I feel like a mouse running on a wheel unable to get off or better still unable to find my way out of one of those huge hedge mazes with dead ends every which way I turn. This past 4-6 weeks at work has been like a bad nightmare that you can’t wake up from. It has left me feeling uncomfortable every time I set foot in the building, paranoid every time someone speaks to me, stricken with anxiety every time I get in the car to drive to work. And this is on top of the stress involved with the IVF. I am drawing very near to breaking point and have recognised that we need to make some lifestyle changes and soon if we or me more to the point is going to see the year out in one piece.

 I am certain that the amount of stress and duress I have been under at work has definitely impacted negatively on our chances of success in the baby making game. Having spoken to some friends today who have been fortunate enough to get a BFP on their first IVF cycle and their approach to it all, I am convinced that the current stress associated with work for me is a major issue that needs to be addressed. My problem is I don’t know where to start. Perhaps it’s time to take a break and get some perspective as I am struggling to sort through my negative feelings towards work and the people associated with it.

 With respect to the IVF we have made the most progress in that  for this next frozen transfer we are combining acupuncture with some new drugs to aid embryo implantation. Also, if this next transfer doesn’t work then we have booked an appointment with another QFG specialist down in Brisbane for the end of November. This particular Dr is considered a bit of a cowboy in fertility circles in that he will do whatever it takes to get you pregnant and he is also a specialist in treating older women– that’s what we want!! When you are at a smorgasboard you want to try everything on offer.